How To Stand Up For Your Wedding

I am the queen of getting bossed around and walked over. Well, I used to be.


This is your wake up call to speak up for yourself; to speak up for your wedding.

While Josh and I were planning a wedding, people were waiting (it felt like) to voice their opinions. My grandma didn't want me to make my own wedding dress. My future mother-in-law wanted me to decorate with streamers and balloons. My parents were opposed to the dinner I had planned. And people I hadn't talked to in years (or ever) expected to receive a wedding invitation.


We were on a budget. A tight budget. Okay, a laughable budget. I was working at the video store making $8 an hour. And my hubby-to-be was working at Walgreens probably making $10 an hour. We weren't living large.


For people to voice their opinions was one thing.


But for people to be offended when we didn't use their ideas for our wedding... wait, how did we turn into the bad guy?! Wasn't this our wedding?!


I was brave enough to say no to the balloons and streamers.


But I caved on the wedding dress, and I still regret it.


I caved on the dinner too.



zip up dress, detail shot, getting ready


And when unwanted people showed up at our wedding, I kept my mouth shut. Even though it cost a lot more.


Like brides before me, we all have regrets. But I want you to advocate for your wedding day and the plans you envisioned.


The true life wedding stories I'm about to share with you are not about bashing people. I'm hoping these stories will help empower couples to stand up for the wedding they had envisioned.


The story you're about to [read] is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. - Dragnet

Meet Kelly...

Q:Who tried taking over your wedding plans?

Jane: My father took over an my mother-in-law made me feel not great. As terrible as it is to say, I couldn't wait for the day to be over. It became a day for everyone else with no focus on what it should have been.

Q: And what did they do that made you feel uncomfortable?

Jane: My father dictated everything that I could have and do since he was paying for most of it. When I started planning, offered to cover the difference; he told me no or he wouldn't help at all. This affected my photographer of choice. I loved the venue, but that took away other things I wanted and needed. I didn't even get to choose the food that was served. My mother-in-law spoke badly about me to my guests and showed up wearing head-to-toe black attire. I also had guests chiming in about what alcohol to serve, kids not being allowed, etc. - or they wouldn't come!

Q: We’re you brave enough to say anything?

Jane: With all my might i tried. But I decided that fighting wasn't worth it in the end. I was in enrolled in school and trying to buy a house.

Q: What would you say to brides - planning their wedding right now - that need encouragement to speak up for themselves?

Don't ever let anyone tell you what you want. This is your day! Make your wedding everything that is important to you. Don't allow others demands bring you down. If they cant put their opinions aside to celebrate you, then F*** them.



cuff links, groom detail shot, outdoor ceremony


Meet Jill...

Q: Who tried taking over your wedding plans? And what did they do that made you feel uncomfortable?

Jill: My mother-in-law and my sister tried taking over my wedding. My mother in law gave me 3 dates we could pick for our wedding for the year. She then asked me to change the wedding ceremony time. My mother-in-law also invited extra people to our rehearsal without asking us first. My sister used my wedding as a platform that she no longer was willing to be in photos, thankfully she backed down.

Q: We’re you brave enough to say anything?

Jill: I was not brave enough to say anything except to my sister over photos.

Q: What would you say to brides - planning their wedding right now - that need encouragement to speak up for themselves?

Jill: It’s a super hard balance between doing what you want and keeping the peace. I feel like it depends on who’s paying for your day, if someone else is paying for it, they should have input. It’s also one day, your most important things are photos and not running out of food. It’s one day, if you’re still going to be upset about it a year later, you need to say something; but it’s a hard balance.



bride detail shot, ring shot, close up


Meet Sabrina...

Q: Who tried taking over your wedding plans? And what did they do that made you feel uncomfortable?

Sabrina: So it wasn’t necessarily someone taking over. But my mother ultimately disowned me after presenting me with an ultimatum. She did not want my dad walking me down the aisle.

Q: Were you brave enough to say anything?

Sabrina: I stood my ground and we didn’t talk for a very long time (long after the wedding). I remember having nightmares about something horrific happening up until the day of the wedding (she’s kind of...extreme).

Q: What would you say to brides - planning their wedding right now - that need encouragement to speak up for themselves?

Sabrina: I’d want other brides to remember that their wedding day is not about making everyone else happy. It is about them starting a new family with their significant other. I remember walking back to my hotel room with my new husband and thinking that as long as I have him by my side, nothing else mattered.




Stand up for your wedding, Someone is taking over my wedding, Elegant Exposure, Wedding Advice



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Rachael + Joshua = Epic Team

 

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